Boo Boo Bunny


booboo bunny

This is a Boo Boo bunny.
A very old Boo Boo bunny.
Made from a wash cloth and a rubber band.
He lives in my freezer. Just waiting to have an ice-cube slipped in his back.
To lay his little tummy on a bruise or goose egg.
He hasn’t been needed in a very long time.
Found him squished in the back with some old frozen corn.
Stuck to a sticky popsicle.
Hope he finds a heart and a home with all the new mother’s I know.
Pretty sure you could find how to make him on Pin Interest. He basically is a rolled up wash rag, with a rubber band around it to make ears. Make sure the ice-cube is nestled in material. Don’t want to put ice direct on the skin.
And don’t forget the KISS that makes it all better.

KT 🙂



I’ve been procrastinating writing this chapter. If you are here for the first time you may want to start with this post,, because this IS a manual and I’ve been trying to write it in a linear way. Hopefully, individual posts are helpful but I’d like to think it’s read as a whole.

Why has it been so hard to start? Well, that’s an age old problem I have no answer for. I’m as lazy as the next guy, and do dread the act of actually putting it down on paper. I’d much rather tell y’all this in a video blog, but that means I’d have to put on a face. Much too lazy for that!

But truthfully, I kept pondering what I really wanted to say. I mean, knowledge is a large word that contains everything there is to know!

And that’s what you need to share with your children. Everything you know.

When I went to Girl Scout camp at 9 years old we all made up nicknames. I crowned myself “Fawn”. Very soon some older girls started calling me “Fawn Kotex”. I didn’t know what a Kotex was. Wasn’t happy when I found out.

I decided when I did, that my children would never be the butt of a joke they didn’t understand.

I’ve been accused of starting too early talking about certain things but I really think that if you are going to err, err on the side of more talking!

It can be uncomfortable.

When my son was around 11 years old, he was a fan of Adam Sandler, who I thought was pretty tame. I listened to a song my son was singing that he had heard on the CD. Adam was joking about a Peeping Tom and mentions how much he wanted a golden shower.

Gah! Not something you want to hear your 11 year old singing! I asked,

“Son, do you know what a golden shower is?”


I have to say I’m glad I hadn’t waited until 11 years old to explain the birds and the bees. Made it a little easier to explain how some people, who momma thinks were unloved, find sexual excitement by having someone urinate on them.


Didn’t sing the song again.

I want you to tell your children all the secret knowledge you know. The stuff no one told you. The stuff you had to learn the hard way.

Give them the edge. The jump up.

Start with things like polite people don’t pick their nose and kids will tease you if you do. Warn them, people.

Anything you did stupid and wish you’d never done. Tell them!

This idea we have to hide our stupid pasts doesn’t make sense to me. We are supposed to be evolving. We need to share our mistakes so that hopefully our kids make new mistakes!

You have to answer their questions. And it’s usually nice to give the other side of what you may have opinions on, so they are prepared for that too.

Do you want their first introduction to the other side of things to be coming from the other side??

You need to be talking all along. They need to trust that you tell them the truth as you know it. And there are things you believe but don’t know and you have to tell them that.

I did have to do some convincing to my husband. I didn’t want to tell my children that Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny were real. I didn’t want them excited or have their hopes up and then disappoint them with the truth. Especially as at the time it was important to me that they believed in an invisible Jesus.

I don’t believe in toying with little minds.

My 24 year old just told me that she believed in Santa but thought it was clever that I told her Santa bills each parent as to what they can afford. I guess I wasn’t perfect. But I tried to answer direct questions pretty directly. I also got stronger in my belief in telling the truth. But I still believed in the “traditions” of Christmas. The things we like to pretend together. So we put out carrots for the reindeer and cookies for Santa. It was a gradual awakening to the truth. They didn’t feel deceived.

By that time they had learned the little secrets we keep so we can surprise those we love. Then they enjoy being in on the secret! But no bully on the play ground shattered their dreams or made them question if their mother told the truth.

Start talking early, and don’t stop except to listen.

They still will hit you with, “Why didn’t you tell me??”

But you’ll be able to say, “I didn’t know”

and then they tell you what they know!




I think the only discipline worth having is self-discipline. Do any of us like being told what to do and when?

As I began to write this morning, it occurred to me that discipline must come from the Latin for disciple.

A disciple I thought is someone in training to become what their master is. Like Jesus and his disciples.

I looked it up. had this to say:


1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.
2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.
3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.
4. the rigor or training effect of experience, adversity, etc.: the harsh discipline of poverty.
5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.

Way down on the bottom it did say:

1175–1225; Middle English  < Anglo-French  < Latin disciplīna  instruction, tuition, equivalent to discipul ( us ) disciple + -ina -ine

So I was right.

But I’m going to go with definition #2.

Activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training.

I’ll add that #1 is a close second!
Training to act in accordance with rules.

Children need to know the rules. I also tended to teach my children which rules they could break.

ALWAYS stop on red.
SOMETIMES it’s ok to not brush your teeth.
ALWAYS say please and thank you.
SOMETIMES it’s ok to have desert before dinner.

Remember, I’m talking about raising children here.
There is no NEED for military discipline.
We PRAY they are spared from the discipline of poverty,
and  about the last definition ” punishment”,
see previous post.

Short answer, DON’T.
See previous post.

Short answer, it’s not our job.

We are here to HELP our children find the strength of character to become SELF-disciplined.

They need to get themselves up, get themselves dressed.
Attend to their own bodily functions.
And feed themselves.

Most of us in countries where obesity is epidemic, know that we do a LOT of emotional eating.
Our mothers, not knowing what to do with their anxiety, let alone their children’s, do what most of them know how to do, they COOK.

They are occupied and busy so their anxiety goes down.
But now they have  made food that SOMEBODY has to eat!
Luckily, for my children I didn’t like to cook.

Matthew 4:4 says,
“But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”

Their father was the bread maker and short order cook and I was their huggable mother and Guru.

When they would come to me upset about anything, we’d talk about it.
Sometimes their problems were an easy fix.
They didn’t know the resources they had available to them. I’d do anything I could to help fix it or find someone who could.

Then there were the times there was no fix. It was just the pain of growing up in the world.
After letting them vent until the story had been repeated 2 or three times, I’d say,

“Take a hot bath, and go to bed. If you still feel this way in the morning, we’ll see what we can do.”

Off they’d go with their heart lighter because they had vented.
IMPORTANT part parents!
It might make you uncomfortable to hear your child is suffering but you have to let them tell you!
Telling them, “Oh, don’t be silly. You aren’t weird, fat, skinny, short, tall, slow, clumsy or any of the other 1000 ways our children hurt each other.” doesn’t help.
They’ve heard it. They have been called it.
Because the other children listen to their parents judge and condemn others and belittled themselves and their children. They repeat mean things that they hear.
Your child’s embarrassment, shame and hurt are REAL.

But ninety nine percent of the time they woke up like we ALL do. Feeling MUCH better and ready to take on the new day.

HINT: Don’t necessarily ask them in the morning if they are still obsessing over the thing they talked about last night! Good chance it’s forgotten!! And though they hate to hear it, a lot of it is hormones.

There was a morning my child was acting ill and I knew he wasn’t. I probed and probed and discovered he was scared and nervous because he had to play his String Bass in front of the class and wasn’t prepared.

Can anybody relate to THAT feeling?

Guess what I did. I said,

“You have permission to go to the nurse with your stomach ache at Orchestra period. There is no need to miss the whole day because of the fear of one class.”

When the nurse called, I let her know,

“I’ve let him go to you because he is afraid. No, I’m not picking him up, send him to class in an hour.”

Of course my son couldn’t believe I’d told her the truth. But that’s a future post.

We need to emotionally feed our children…
They want your arms and UNDERSTANDING  not chips!

Now on the self-discipline building and practical side of not feeding your children in excess of their nutritional needs.

You may ask your kid to clean their room until the cows come home and they will willfully and happily sit on that pile of clothes texting their friends until you’re blue in the face.

Grandpa Dr. always said,
“Your child’s room should not be included on the tour you give your friends. It’s their room. Close the door”

BUT, don’t make lunch for them?
You’ll hear about it.

That’s when self-discipline comes in!
You let them make it themselves or at least ask for it.

My two-year old knew how to make peanut butter crackers.
I use to say he’d be the child that would be sitting on my undiscovered dead body with the crackers and peanut butter jar. And he’d be using a fork because that’s the best way to put peanut butter on a cracker.

I don’t put a lid on my peanut butter, at least not a tight one.
You have to have things available for your children to get to. Which is why you are still in charge of what they eat.

If you have carrots and celery sticks in the veggie drawer, that’s what they will eat when they get HUNGRY enough.

You can’t be afraid to let them get hungry! That’s KEY. They should only be eating because they ARE hungry!

Grandpa Dr.  used to tell mothers all the time,

“Your kids will balance their nutrition on their own. Maybe they do only want to eat potatoes for a few days, it’s ok.”

You ever binge for a while on something?

Kids are not machines. They may not want to eat when you feel like feeding them.
If feeding becomes a cooperative act between the two of you, life is much easier and you get to be lazy.

I don’t make food my children won’t eat. I don’t like waste. But it’s me wasting it not them, if I’ve cooked something they have said “no thank you” to.

I know all the parents out there that had to eat what was on their plate and every last bit of it.

It’s the 21st century people! Is it really so hard to make dinner a little more accommodating?

If you are eating something that your child doesn’t like, is it really so hard to scramble an egg? Haven’t met a child yet who didn’t eat scrambled eggs.

Remember, we are here to show our children that we care about THEM. Their tastes, their needs, their dreams.

If you read,
then you know I was a VERY picky eater. I’m SO grateful my father just let me live on peanut butter and tuna sandwiches.

He didn’t yell at me or tell me I was ungrateful.  He just let me eat a sandwich while everyone else was eating whatever they ate.
He didn’t shame me. He didn’t send me from the table. He didn’t make me eat something I didn’t like so I’d start some horrid cycle of eating and purging.

He didn’t make food a fight.
The other thing parents do.

Or else what? You’ll hurt me after I have thrown it all up?

It’s SELF-discipline.

Grandpa Dr. used to say,
“The only ways pre-verbal children can rebel are to clamp their mouth shut and squeeze their bottom!
They want control of what goes in and when it comes out.”

And you WANT them to have control!

We may have to force them to do what we want them to do, but the things they need to do, they are pretty excited about mastering.

Hmmm. Mastering.
Isn’t that what discipline was for? To help us become like our master?

Did you ever feel kinder after someone shamed you?

The other thing everyone tells parents is,
“They’ll do what they see you do.”

I didn’t make my earlier children do many communal chores. (The pendulum has swung back a little for the last one.)
They would help me, but they didn’t really have anything they were responsible for.
I figured if I just went around quietly picking up and rinsing off dishes etc. They’d SEE me doing it and would do it eventually.

Eventually, my 4.6 GPA , 16th in her high school class daughter was washing her clothes before going to BYU. She had used 3 times the soap required for her small load.
We all know what that does.
But not her.
Guess I really hadn’t taught her do the wash before she left.
But trust me she was working. You don’t get a 4.6 slacking off.

And she knew she was supposed to have clean clothes when she left. And since that load she has washed all her own clothes.
I’m smiling.

The last story I’ll tell is how I got my 13-year old boy to get up for school with little complaint or little help.

Started in Kindergarten.
It helped because he slept with me then (future post), but I would get up and get a bowl of cereal and bring it back to bed. I’d wake him up quietly and then remind him there was milk on his cereal and if he didn’t want it soggy he needed to wake up and eat it.

He’d roll over, sit up and take the bowl. I’d crawl back into bed. We’d watch EXACTLY 20 minutes of any TV show he wanted. After that he had to hop up and go potty. You know if you start eating something in the morning your bowels start working too. This is where you get to teach your own routine.

Some of my kids would regularly go after school. When I had 6 of us living in a  house with one bathroom, we couldn’t all relax for 20 minutes in the morning.
But a couple can, and a couple in the afternoon and mom goes when she hears the bus door close.

It’s a family problem.
Maybe little Suzy gets first dibs because she hasn’t learned self-control. Seniority is NOT always the way to go. But oldest does get shot-gun seat.

Back to our disciplined morning.

He had 20 minutes to go potty. (Always have reading material there!)
As he became older he wanted to shower every morning.
That’s a good thing.
I always made my children bathe at night, so the sheets staid cleaner longer.
But they could have a quick wake up shower in the morning.

But he split up his potty time. He decided how long he stayed in the shower now or sit on the pot.

I’d be shouting the time as we’d go.
“Son, it’s 6:40am. Get out of the shower!”

Then he had 10 minutes to get dressed and 10 minutes to brush his teeth and grab his school work.

And he was out the door.

There were mornings he cried after we did all that and I would calmly drive him to school and answer all his excuses with,

“We’ll see after school. Bye honey.”

He would dry his eyes and get out. There was no way THIS lazy mom would EVER take a clean, fed, dressed child back home.

And now he is 13.

We watch Survivor together, 20 minutes at a time.
(DVR greatest invention EVER!! I NEVER watch commercials. ALL my watching is by CHOICE not chance.)

The other morning he showed up at my door when MY alarm went off.
All dressed and ready to walk to school.

Another alarm went off!

“NO Tanner, I’ll still take you. I don’t trust your self-discipline enough that you’ll get yourself there on time. But come sit on my bed and we can watch ALL of Survivor.”
Smiley face.

I’ll stop. Not because I don’t have more to say, but because I’m trying to be disciplined in my writing. I’m trying to write a book one blog at a time. Starting with those things I think most important. Forgive all the self referencing links, but I’m trying not to get boring or repeat myself. It’s hard writing a book people are reading backwards.

Your children are YOUR disciples. Remember how kind, patient and forgiving He was to his.

Matt 9:13
But go you and learn what that means, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice…

He doesn’t want you to beat up your kids to do ANYTHING.
He doesn’t want you to beat yourself up. No flogging, no sackcloth.
BE merciful.
I’ll talk about punishment in the next post.

Be me kind,
KT 🙂